I Just Wanna Run
by MirrorImage003
Summary: Songfic Oneshot of Meiru and Netto's future relationship. Sorta bittersweet, and told from Meiru's POV. Interpret pairings as you wish, since there's kinda a hidden one. Thanks for reading!


Disclaimer: I don't own any Rockman characters!

Thanks to **Son of Palpatine**, **MrGoodyTwoShoes**, and **Yuna Honey** for correcting me! I meant to fix this fic a lot sooner but unfortunately didn't have the time. Enjoy! :)

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**I Just Wanna Run - The Downtown Fiction**

I just can't stand it anymore. I don't want to deal with all this any longer. Everything is closing in on me. I feel trapped, dead, and tired. Exhausted.

Can't I just run away from everything?

I've made an effort, I really have. I call you all the time, trying to keep this relationship - if we can even call it that - going, but I seem to be the only one wanting it. You never answer my calls, always leaving me to wonder when we'll actually be able to talk. I know you're busy with all your Net Saviour missions, and keeping up with college work, but I'm just as busy as you! I have piano lessons every day, and my own college classes, yet I still find time for you!

One day, I'll be strong enough to leave. One day I'll stuff all my belongings in a bag and walk away. More precisely, _run_ away. Honestly, I'm getting tired of all these one-way conversations. For a long time I've been waiting for you to acknowledge me, show me the respect I so desperately need. I really don't know how much more I can take.

Do you even hear what I'm saying? I feel like broken record. Everytime you come around, I say the same things, and you reply with the same responses. _'How was your day?' 'It was great'... 'Want to go out tonight?' 'Sorry, Meiru, but I have a lot of reports to do'...'I love you.' 'Love you too.'_

It's always the same. A horribly fake smile, a tired chuckle, a light kiss on the cheek. But every single one of them feels empty and old. With each repetitive answer, I grow even more doubtful. Maybe we weren't made to be together.

I wish Yaito and the others would just leave me alone. They're great friends and all, but sometimes I just need my space. Yaito is always trying to give you advice, always trying to get our relationship going. Doesn't she realize that I want it to be genuine, not out of obligation?

Dekao never notices anything wrong. After all these years, he's still the big, arrogant kid we grew up with. Unfortunately, that also means he's still chasing me around. Jeez, won't he ever give up?

Tohru has always been a good friend, albeit a quieter one, but he just doesn't really relate to our situation. Does anyone relate to our situation?

They say running from your problems never fixes anything, but right now, it sounds like the perfect option.

You're always too busy, too occupied. The thing is, I know exactly what you're going to say before you say it. I know all about you. I know that you love the color blue. I know that you can never say no to a challenge, even if you're going to lose. I know that you loved the chaos during our hectic childhood, infact, you lived for it. I know netbattling and working in the labs makes you happier than anything else. I know you couldn't live without Rockman. I know you _could _live without me.

The thing is, I hate always being the damsel in distress. I hate having to watch you charge head on into battle. I hate feeling second to all of your responsibilities. I hate not being able to sleep at night because I'm too worried about whether you're going to make it out of your next mission alive or not. I hate knowing that the love I felt for you ever since we met has faded so drastically. I hate knowing it might not even exist anymore. I hate how I'm okay with that.

The only person I talk about all this with is Enzan. I know, weird right? He's not only the busiest man alive, but also you're rival/bestfriend. Maybe that's why it's easy to confide in him. We both know you so well that nothing really takes us by surprise anymore.

He once told me something I hadn't even realized about myself. He told me that I wanted a solid relationship. I desired stability. He said that how you dove right into things without thinking always kept me on my toes, gradually wearing me out. He told me that this relationship might hurt me more than I had ever thought. He told me I deserved better. He was right.

Netto, I know that you don't mean to cause me pain. I know that you would never intentionally try to neglect me. You've been an amazing friend throughout my whole life. Maybe you even loved me before. Maybe if I was able to just go with the flow, we could've been something more. But now I know, that even if you wanted to, even if you did love me, it still wouldn't work out. I would still hold you back, and you would still hurt me.

I'm sorry if this hurts you. I'm sorry it didn't work. Even if we've split as a couple, I hope we can remain friends. The best of friends. Even if our friendship isn't the same, I still love you. Just not in the way I expected to.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to leave just yet. After all, I'm still as stubborn as ever. Hopefully I won't make a big mistake. Maybe all of this seperation between us was just a bad dream. Maybe a miracle will happen and we will go back to being as happy as we used to be.

The thing is, I'm not sure if I ever was happy.

I just wanna run.


End file.
